Sarah Brown (auntysarah) wrote,

Feeling Better

Thank you for all the message of support yesterday. I was touched by how many there were, and I won't reply to them all individually, but you're all lovely, lovely people.

I forced myself to put some clothes on and went out to drop off a 4x5 slide from my Utah trip at the photo processing place, pay a cheque in and get chocolate. The photo processing place had gone out of business (damn you, digital!), so I need to find somewhere else that will do my slides (doing my own E6 processing is a bit more hardcore than I want to be), but I got the cheque paid in, which means I now owe the banks slightly less money after our holiday, and picked myself up a bar of Dairy Milk and Red Bull. While true connoisseurs will no doubt scoff on the authenticity of Dairy Milk's claim to the "chocolate" label, I find it to be the most wonderful comfort food.

I then walked the short distance back home, noticed my Boa constrictor had shat, cleaned that up, laundered the towels I use to line her vivarium, fed my fish in the garden pond and pottered gently in the garden for a bit, deadheading stuff and throwing worn out bits of water lilly on the compost heap.

After half an hour of that, I was no longer feeling the crushing "make the world go away, must curl up under blanket and never come out" feelings, but I was physically exhausted, so I went back in and curled up in bed anyway, downloading free (mostly) apps for my iPod until zoeimogen arrived on a train her big red bike-of-dyke from London and the_local_echo arrived home from work.

I'm still feeling emotionally and physically fragile, but I guess it will pass. My nose is feeling better by the day, although what mucus comes out (the right nostril is still blocked, presumably by clots) is still a kind of reddy-brown from old blood. Apparently I make "interesting" snoring sounds at night, but it feels like I'm sleeping well.

It took a year or more to fully recover from sex reassignment. I guess the extent to which that was major replumbing compared to this had instilled in me a sort of assumption that I could basically "walk it off" this time, but my body feels otherwise. I'm going to try and pay attention to it.

Thanks once again, everybody. You're all wonderful.
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